


I'm sure you says that to all the girls

by 18WhyamIdoingthis20



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Crack Relationships, F/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29813739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/18WhyamIdoingthis20/pseuds/18WhyamIdoingthis20
Summary: Thomas has a crush on Mary. Mary doesn't have the time for him.
Relationships: Thomas Thorne/Mary
Kudos: 12





	I'm sure you says that to all the girls

**Author's Note:**

> Well it's 3am, I'm tired, and yet I am strangely compelled to post another fic. I fear that this is very ooc, but I thought it would be at least a little funny.

“What does you means by this?” Mary asked, fiddling nervously with her apron.  
“You are the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes upon,” Thomas sighed in his usual melodramatic way. “To gaze upon your countenance takes my breath away.”  
“Tush and flops,” Mary replied, batting his arm dismissively. “I’m sure you says that to all the girls.”  
“I do not!” Thomas exclaimed, affronted. “I am in earnest, Miss Mary. I may have slighted you in the past, but these past few days, I have found myself strangely drawn to you, like a moth to a candle.” He paused, remembering Mary’s aversion to the mention of anything flame-related. “Your beauty and radiance are understated and take even a connoisseur time to fully appreciate them. Time has taught me to appreciate your true value and now I find that I cannot look away from you. You are captivating.”  
“Wells, that’s very nice,” Mary responded, unsure of what to say. “And you seems like a very nice young man, but I’m very busy right now, and I’ll have to give you some times just to thinks about it, okay?”  
“I’ll wait for you, my sweet!” Thomas called after Mary, as she drifted away through the wall. “You shall have proof of my constancy!”

“Good morrow, my fair lady,” Thomas said, leaning seductively on the doorframe. “The sun shines today, but it is not as radiant as your fair face. I trust you slept well.”  
“What are you on about you soppy bit of rag?” Mary was quite upset about having her room invaded in this manner, no matter the errand.  
“I am come hither to serenade thy beauty, most radiant of women,” Thomas persisted. “I was also wondering whether you had paid my suit any further thought.”  
“I’ve just wokens up. Don’t be rushings me, boy.”  
“I shall wait for you, fair matron,” Thomas declared as he left the room. “You know where you can find me!”  
“Who does he thinks he be?” Mary muttered to herself as she sat up, dusting off her apron.

“Have you an answer for me yet?” Thomas asked eagerly.  
Mary paused, gathering her thoughts. “I thinks it be not a good idea, boy. You be but young and unused to ghosting. Perhaps I may get sucked off soon – it happens often – and you woulds see that you be not in love with me. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to says no.”  
“I do protest! Have I not been constant these past few days? Have I not been always at your side, professing the profundity of my feelings for you in the most eloquent verse? Have I not mentioned your radiance on several occasions? I love you most ardently, Mary.”  
“We’ll sees about that.”

“Oh, do come quickly, Mary, there’s such a commotion going on!” Kitty cried.  
“Oh, it’s you,” Mary replied. “I was worried it was that Thomas again.”  
“No, only me. Still, there’s so much excitement – you need to go and watch!”  
“Fine. I’ll goes and watch. But I’m not listenings to any more of that boy’s ramblings. He might know big words and complicated phrases, but he doesn’t understands the meaning of ‘no’. I have taken to hidings when I hears anyone comings in case it be him.”  
“I wouldn’t worry about that now – there’s far too much excitement for that. You really must watch!”  
Mary tutted slightly to herself but followed Kitty to see what could possibly be so important. And excitement there surely was – the mistress of the house had not only discovered that her husband was having an affair but had caught him in the very act. Fearing exposure, the man turned to murder and pushed his wife from the first-floor window in the East Wing, killing her. curious, the ghosts all rushed downstairs to greet the newcomer.

Thomas reached her first. “May I say what a handsome woman you are?” he began.  
“What tomfoolery is this? I am a married woman?”  
“I saids he’d forget about me soon enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> I make no promises for further content, but I am enjoying thinking of ridiculous pairings for the characters and thinking about how they might pan out. In the case of Thomas and Mary, a one-sided infatuation on Thomas' account seemed most likely. I hope it did not disappoint.


End file.
